Self Esteem: performance or encouragement?

Was in a discussion last night with my father and sister-in-law about kids in school today and the subject about kids self-esteem. My father's comment was that "kids learn self esteem from performance, not being told their good at things." My sister-in-law spoke about the same thing, but I began to wonder about the whole discussion and wondered if the performance thing is only one part of a kids self esteem?

It also belongs on the argument of kids: are they nature or nurture grown in regards their talent, skills, and experiences?

Just look at the number of kids that are troubled because of alcoholic parents. Is this performance related? Or how about motivating sports teams, at that point is probably no longer encouragement esteem but performance esteem.

Bottom line: I think it's a mixture of both nature and nurture regarding how kids grow up and it has to be age appropriate encouragement and performance. But it's also about motivating an adult. While performance at work is probably self motivating, it's still about motivating everyone so that they can perform to their fullest.